How I love the very word imagination!
Always have. As a child I spent a big chunk of time imaging my world was different. I never saw it as escape. I liked where I was. I didn’t really want to leave…
But oh—to create an experience somewhere else, or someone else…now that’s fun.
Through my imagination I could create anything I wanted. My sister and I created a secret friend who would visit us if we were scared. And only we could see her. It empowered us. We never thought anything about it until several years ago when her name came up out of the blue. We never considered it weird but it was a shock to our parents to discover this friend of ours.
We also created pretend castles and fortresses on the lawn or in the basement—where we were in charge. Where anything we wanted could happen. What freedom! And through that stories were created. And desires that cropped up throughout our lives. We could be anybody!
I also spent time making things from whatever I could find. Plastic glasses and empty dish soap bottles become Barbie furniture, boxes became houses, Kleenex became clothes until fabric scraps appeared. Bedsheets and plastic tubes became stagecoaches. There was nothing I did without–So long as I had my imagination.
Because the secret to creativity is found in the seeds of imagination. Without it nothing grows. Ideas cannot become reality without seeing what isn’t there and then picturing what could possibly be and the way to make it happen.
The most wonderful thing of all is that we all have imagination. We need only to use it.
And the more we use it the more we can create. And the more we can create the better we can make our world. And isn’t that what life is all about? It’s not about escaping but recreating…reinventing…rebuilding…
After all…Who doesn’t want to live in a better world?
Are you really living where you live?
Or do you keep a facade in a desperate attempt to convince yourself or others, of your determined existence.
We are all on a journey. We often fool ourselves into thinking we have arrived but as in literature, the real story is the journey and not the destination.
I do this myself.
I feel so good when I am safe and my outcome is certain. Yet I also long for adventure. And to break free from routine and certainty.
And it is in the adventure where we discover who we are and what we are made of.
I recently moved across the country and found myself insecure and nervous about many aspects that were solid before. How could I slip into a state of doubt so easily? Especially when I have been the rock of advice that others cling to.
I couldn’t believe it. Where did my self-assurance go? Why did I no longer trust my inner voice? And where did all this fear come from?
It takes a while to listen to your soul and hear the longings and desires stirring deep within. I wanted quick and simple answers. But the beauty of life is that it is complex and layered. And the digging and uncovering of the layers is where our own beauty lies.
The truth was I suddenly didn’t trust myself. The doubts lingered and gained momentum no matter how I tried to push them away. So, what could I do? How to silence the fear tape in my head?
I began to take small steps to find some security in my thinking. A little bit of proof in my actions. And little-by-little I felt the door to my soul opening and letting in the light of change. I started to see opportunity where I had seen problems. I could feel excitement when I looked into the unknown future by reminding myself nothing is carved into our life. And I am the one with the biggest chisel!
What kind of new life will I carve out for myself? What new experiences will shape me into the future? And who will I become when all these new forces attract and carry me forward towards my desires?
Instead of hiding and blanketing my soul with fear—I am now ready to boldly test the waters of chance.
By opening myself to life and risking the safety of the known, perhaps I will find that life really is like a video game. And thrill of moving up to higher level with new challenges and adventures is what we all came here for.
So look around at the world you inhabit and ask yourself if you are ready to make a change?
And to rediscover all the joy and wonder of the journey.
Bury this love that hides deep in my soul
and blocks out the joy of living.
For I am ready to move past all the lies and pain
that remind me of what we once were
and of what we will never be.
I am tired and worn.
Ready to admit defeat against a formidable force…
the force of our love. And to succumb to the strength of our divide.
And all the opportunities that will never be.
Stillborn in the hate and hurt that never ceases to rise to the surface every time I think of you. Of us. And of all the years trailing me and expired. Long past the shelf life of love.
I am ready now. Free to begin again. In a new adventure and with a new outlook. And release the tide of uncertainty that continually washes to my shore. I buried you long ago. I buried us.
And it is only now that I see how I no longer need to carry the burden of lost love.
I am free to do whatever I please. Free to be whoever I want. And free to become all that I may be.
And discover that the secret to love…to life…to joy…is actually buried in me.
And all I have to do is dig deep and discover all that I am and release all the life and all the treasure–
that is in me.
Why would anyone want to lose control?
When we live in a world that teaches us–
that encourages us–to gain mastery over every part of our lives.
With self-help sections of bookstores and libraries bursting with guidance.
And every one around us offering advice on how to fix our lives to perfection.
No one tells us how to free ourselves from our own constraints.
From our own judgements and reprisal.
No one wants us to be untethered and careless.
We fit in best when we match the routines surrounding us.
When we follow the rules of order created by others.
I know because I constantly battle to free myself creatively. To take risks. To be bold.
And to journey into an unknown that is both terrifying and exhilarating.
Perhaps it’s harder because I do love order. I love to have my things easy to find. In great condition and useful.
I enjoy feeling in control. I am proud in my mastery of daily living. And I also do enjoy the recognition from others.
But wanting organization cannot be the same as freeing your soul to enjoy the best of life.
Or is it?
Right now I desire to feel the truth of nature. Of my nature. The recklessness of losing myself in time and space.
Without worry. Without regret. Without guilt.
Where others let go of their expectations of me so I may discover my own uniqueness. My own truth. The harmony of my soul with life.
I am on a journey and haven’t yet arrived.
I am not ready to unpack my bags and stay put.
I seek new frontiers of experience. New vistas to challenge the creativity that lies, buried in the recesses of my soul.
What will it take to free me? Perhaps in my quest there is no answer.
There is only action. And actions taken will lead me further down the path of discovery.
The path to who I really am. And all that I may be.
As your apprentice, am I legally bound to learn about love
from you–the master craftsman of desire?
Have I learned enough to make my way in the world
and cut the ties to the network of support
you give. Support that removes the doubts and fears
from my restless imagining
and leaves me free to envision a love
that is strong enough to endure all the many
challenges and setbacks that life weaves into the fabric of our nature.
Am I more than an apprentice? Have I evolved to surpass all that has been shown
and given? Am I not ready, now, for love? For real love that doesn’t harbor excuses or complaint.
A love that understands the words not spoken and releases the guilt of further heartache.
I am ready to move past the learning and failures. Past the rejected attempts for approval.
For I am now beyond you.
I have evolved past obedience and am ready for love that shares beyond the borders of greed and righteousness.
Ready to open my heart to the swelling tide of rapture without regret. Compassion without pity.
I am whole. A renewal of the bitter pieces made complete. And I have you to thank.
My patient and relentless master. The guidepost of my journey. The one who allowed me to fail and rebuild and rediscover
the joy of independence. The pleasure of self-fulfillment and determination.
Could I have risen so far without your steady support in my frailest hours?
I know the answer well. And so I thank you and bid you farewell.
For I am complete. I am whole again and ready to embrace the winds of love and all it’s storms.
Ready for the risks and danger that opening my heart exposes me to.
Waiting, in eager anticipation, of the endless possibilities that now lay before me.
And excited by the untapped potential to journey beyond my safety and discover
along the way
the many facets of love.