Is life a test?
It has to be. Why else would bad things happen if not to test our resolve?
Or to help us grow?
I see life as an uncharted map with multiple options at every moment. And in those options lie opportunities.
The opportunity to be kind.
The opportunity to forgive.
The opportunity to help.
The opportunity for adventure.
The opportunity to learn.
For risk/reward or risk/lesson.
Maybe instead of thinking in terms of a test where there is a pass/fail mindset–how about life as a series of lessons?
And the lessons move us forward so we can try new things without fear.
The more lessons we take, the more we grow and evolve.
Instead of reliving mistakes and bad luck or poor choices, we learn from them and continue on a path towards better choices.
Perhaps at the end of our life, when all our lessons are over, we see the results of this test. A big picture essay of our life. And of all that we have done. And the score isn’t measured on a pass/fail but on a contribution to living.
Did we live?
Did we love?
Did we try?
Was there effort towards something?
And most important–
Did we learn from our choices and: Make things better? Become happier and more alive?
So where are you now in this test of life?
By Tessa Saks
We belong together.
I am not one to share my thoughts with strangers but when writing my heart opens and the deepest parts of my soul are revealed. And yet, standing beside you, my voice freezes. I want to be with you. To be near you once again.
We shared a life of love and heartache and I never wanted it to end. What happened that we are now apart?
We belong together. I can say it a million different ways in writing and yet when we are together something holds me and
I cannot say all that needs to be released.
The heart is a strange tool for love. It often fails when you need it most. Or perhaps it knows better. It protects you from the madness of honesty and pain. Would we be happy together? Perhaps my heart imagines it and allows me this folly but prevents the reality from harming the fragile nature of love. Of our love. For I want you beyond measure.
Should I take the risk and betray the danger of rejection? So we may be as we once were. Bound by love. And happy.
When I remember the way you felt next to me between the sheets
I forget all that was wrong and embrace instead
the touch of your flesh and who we were once upon a time.
When we loved in spite of our youth and recklessness.
When we thought only of the moment and each other
and everything else diffused into a vapor of insignificance.
For all that mattered was love. And passion.
When I fought to keep my hands off you.
When we needed contact in every moment, no matter where we were.
United in desire that was stronger than the two of us.
Smothering out logic. Or reason. Or anything that could take you from me.
I miss you. In the quiet of my heart you are still my love.
No matter where you are or who you are with
know that I am yours.
You are a part of me.
By Tessa Saks
The silent whisper of love reaches beyond my constant fear and longing.
It permeates all that I see and feel and experience.
The hope that I will love again reduces the chaos around me into fragmented rubble.
And I can endure
whatever heartache stands in my way.
For I know that one day, when I least expect it,
love will return to me and find
I am ready.
A willing participant
Reinforced and open to all that may be.
this love I seek–
the joy of tempered passion
harvesting an energy long withheld
in your arms
ready to detonate and release
all that I am
and give to you
beyond words and whispers
a love that will engulf us and shine bright
For you are the one I wait for.
My hunger grows impatient waiting for your return. A night of restless imagining
cast in the shadow of fear.
The fear that you will leave me
and forget all that was good
Despite white lies
and the pretense
You protected me from the truth
to save me from myself.
From my weakness and insecurity.
Allowing me to trust and love
and endure despite all that life will toss
into the mix.
I am better for knowing you and having
love in all its shades and textures.
You are a part of me
A part I will never throw away.
No matter where your path leads,
know that the door to my heart
remains open. For you.
Cast me not from the shadows of your soul
but keep me beyond eternity
For I am one with you
in heart and body
in the refuge of my soul
All that I am
is stained with the
colors of your laughter
your endless sense of wonder
And no matter where I am
and all the days and years
that cascade over a lifetime
by Tessa Saks
You will never know
how far away
despite lying so close
to my body.
Where are you now?
And why do I sense
the vacancy in your smiles?
Have you forgotten
all that we shared
and the countless hours
of laughter and joy?
Whatever weighs on you
stifles the all of your soul
leaving a hollow shell
that looks and sounds
like the one I love
but hides the essence of who you really are.
I miss you.
As I lay next to your body
this wall of indifference builds into a fortress
from my discontent.
Can I reach you
and pull you back?
Back to life
And all the passion and heartache
that make life worth living.
And return you
to the vibrant soul
that loved with fiercest hunger
and an endless appetite for me.
by Tessa Saks