Is life a test?
It has to be. Why else would bad things happen if not to test our resolve?
Or to help us grow?
I see life as an uncharted map with multiple options at every moment. And in those options lie opportunities.
The opportunity to be kind.
The opportunity to forgive.
The opportunity to help.
The opportunity for adventure.
The opportunity to learn.
For risk/reward or risk/lesson.
Maybe instead of thinking in terms of a test where there is a pass/fail mindset–how about life as a series of lessons?
And the lessons move us forward so we can try new things without fear.
The more lessons we take, the more we grow and evolve.
Instead of reliving mistakes and bad luck or poor choices, we learn from them and continue on a path towards better choices.
Perhaps at the end of our life, when all our lessons are over, we see the results of this test. A big picture essay of our life. And of all that we have done. And the score isn’t measured on a pass/fail but on a contribution to living.
Did we live?
Did we love?
Did we try?
Was there effort towards something?
And most important–
Did we learn from our choices and: Make things better? Become happier and more alive?
So where are you now in this test of life?
By Tessa Saks
I don’t want to panic.
But I do. And every time it happens I wish for more control. Panic contributes to the chaos. So I’ve learned over the years that panic shows me what I fear most. And from that overreaction I can discover what really matters. And by focusing on what really matters, I can find some calm and control in the midst of panic. I can reduce my fear and find solutions. And what really matters can be salvaged. Or mended.
Over time, when I look back at all that fear, I see panic can be part of the process of being alive. Of feeling. And loving. And wanting. Needing. Desire.
The times that caused me the highest panic were when I was afraid of losing something very important. And when you know what is most important, decisions become easier. Choices more clear.
Sometimes you need a wake-up call to help you focus. I know I did.
And once awoken and on the right path, it’s easier to stay calm. To trust and have faith. To move forward armed with the confidence that no matter what obstacles or events throw you off course and challenge you–there is no need to panic!
by Tessa Saks
How could I ever love you less? Beyond the expectations and obligations
That keep us apart I crave to hold you again and recapture all the power
of pleasure that melds us as one. United in the knowledge that you know who I am
and all that I may be
and that no matter what worries taint this life of ours
We are together. In mind and body.
Without concern or judgement.
Free to explore all that we are and all
that we may become. When one day
you return and I
can hold you close
and never let you go.
My hunger grows impatient waiting for your return. A night of restless imagining
cast in the shadow of fear.
The fear that you will leave me
and forget all that was good
Despite white lies
and the pretense
You protected me from the truth
to save me from myself.
From my weakness and insecurity.
Allowing me to trust and love
and endure despite all that life will toss
into the mix.
I am better for knowing you and having
love in all its shades and textures.
You are a part of me
A part I will never throw away.
No matter where your path leads,
know that the door to my heart
remains open. For you.
The essence of love cannot be learned.
You cannot study and become loving.
It starts inside.
It is eternal. It is flow.
It is released from your center.
It is to be shared, given away, released unconditionally.
It is not a practiced art where one can become better by reading and repeating.
It is spontaneous. Allowing.
It pours out of your center and fills you.
Once you are full, you can direct outwards to others.
Like a source of power and energy; it radiates out and there is no limit to how far reaching it can go.
This is the essence of love.
By Tessa Saks
It hurts to think you may never know
How much love I feel …
Too deep to show.
My heart is full of love to last
My thoughts bring memories,
A cherished past.
While I do not want to let you leave
I’m happy for you and shall not grieve.
For time goes on and life does lead
A course for us to each
By Tessa Saks
I miss you.
In spite of all that is good and all
that is wrong.
through this wall that divides
and separates my love.
Holding it back for eternity.
Against all my better judgements
comes the desire
to hold you again–
if only for a moment.
Frozen in time.
And without consequences.
To have one stolen moment
free from guilt and the constraints
of real life.
Witness the deeper me,
the connection to your soul
where I can feel yet again
a frozen instant of love.