Do Outer Layers Hide Our Fear or Display Our Character?

 

Tessa Saks Weekly Prompt
Who am I?
What is the message I send to the world?
Am I who I think I am?

If we had no clothes how would we express ourselves? And how important would it be to display our inner message to others? Would body marking be the rage? Would we be happier?

I am not my clothes. Never have been. But they do offer clues as to who I am trying to be or who I want to be. And thankfully, it has changed over the years.

What we wear is important in our society as every job or status-role has predefined ideals and standards of what is acceptable and what isn’t. You can think you are a rebel but somehow you are still conforming to a pre-set bunch of rules.

From Hudderites in black and white polka-dots to bikers in leather vests to saffron colored zen robes, there are codes for who we are–and maybe more important– what group we belong to. And in a way they do help hide who we are afraid we aren’t. A uniform can add confidence and bury fear. But for how long?

I have purposely tried to avoid following fashion as dictated by the magazines and instead sought to find my own style. One that represents how I feel about who I am and what I love. But I am still influenced. I love fabric and color and texture. I appreciate beautiful workmanship.

I do want people to understand more about me by what I wear. Years ago, I tried to go super-conservative for work and found myself living a lie. I wanted to belong and to fit in, but I was not who I pretended to be. I needed to let my inner diva out. And when I finally admitted this to myself, I also changed jobs.

I need freedom to be me.
And the outer layers of my clothing do represent a slice of the inner me.
I am grateful to live in a world where we can use clothing as a message to others about a tiny part of us.

And I fear a future world like in sci-fi which has us wearing jumpsuits or matching uniforms. A massive army of clones, afraid to be different. Afraid to stand out. Afraid to take chances and make mistakes. Because I would rather look back at my crazy 80’s shoulder pads knowing that I experimented and took some chances, than have a photo album full of safe and boring outfits to match a safe and boring life.

So yes to self-expression. It’s what living is all about.

Outer Layers

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What Panic Reveals

I don’t want to panic.

But I do. And every time it happens I wish for more control.  Panic contributes to the chaos. So I’ve learned over the years that panic shows me what I fear most. And from that overreaction I can discover what really matters. And by focusing on what really matters,  I can find some calm and control in the midst of panic. I can reduce my fear and find solutions. And what really matters can be salvaged. Or mended.

Over time, when I look back at all that fear, I see panic can be part of the process of being alive. Of feeling. And loving. And wanting. Needing. Desire.

The times that caused me the highest panic were when I was afraid of losing something very important. And when you know what is most important, decisions become easier. Choices more clear.

Sometimes you need a wake-up call to help you focus. I know I did.

And once awoken and on the right path, it’s easier to stay calm. To trust and have faith. To move forward armed with the confidence that no matter what obstacles or events throw you off course and challenge you–there is no need to panic!

*

by Tessa Saks
Panic

Love Poem: A Stolen Kiss

Love Poem tessa Saks

A Stolen Kiss
By George Wither

Now gentle sleep hath closed up those eyes
Which, waking kept my boldest thoughts in awe;
And free access unto thy sweet lip lies,
From whence I long the rosy breath to draw.

Methinks not wrong it were, if I should steal
From those two melting rubies one poor kiss;
None sees the theft that would the theft reveal,
Nor rob I her of aught that she can miss;

Nay should I twenty kisses take away,
There be little sign I would do so;
Why then should I this robbery delay?
O, she may wake, and therewith angry grow!
Well, if she do, I’ll back restore that one,
And twenty hundred thousand more for loan.

Love Poem: Remembered Kiss III

Love Poem Desire Tessa Saks
Love Poem: Remembered Kiss III
By Tessa Saks

I am your slave
Awoken at dawn
to do your bidding.
In spirit
you move through me
to awaken the longings
that stir.
That torment.

Yielding to the pressures
of unkempt promises.
Forgotten pleasures resurfacing…
catching me in
their chaos.
Widening the gulf between sanity and lust.
Freeing the tortured soul
of my
hidden love.
A secret stain upon my heart.
Eternal.
Timeless.

The need for your touch
awakens
the haunting desires
burning
within my soul.
Enrapturing me.
A hidden victim
of your cruelty
and torment.

Forgotten lust.
A cruel reminder
of my heart
forever sinking
further and
further
away from you.

Chained in logic.
Corrupted in safe wanting.
The only truth
unbearable
and vacant.
Pushes you farther
away
from my life.
My light.
My eternal soul.

Love Poem: Remembered Kiss

Love Poem Dark
Love Poem: Remembered Kiss IV
by Tessa Saks

I am worn of love.
By the demands
that pull
my heart
further
away from my soul.

Their needs
replacing
passion and fire
with
discontent
and longing.

Am I their slave?
To give
until I break
from
the burden
of their desires.

Unable to fulfill
the never ending
selfish requests.

A fool disguised
in
mother’s love.
Impatient.

Now
an emptiness
grows
in the
caverns
of my heart.

The more I love
the more
it encroaches…
destroying
all the good.

Replacing it
with
hollowed hope…
for a deeper love.
A reckless passion
uniting
in my soul
to
release me.

Allow me to feel
the burning coals
of a lover’s touch.
A heavy embrace
that
suffocates
the loneliness.

Invigorating
the life
that sparks
my glowing ember
of past love.

I want to rise…
renewed
by a kiss
that opens
the treasure
of desire.
Of consummate pleasure.

Awaken me.

Unleash
the unyielding joy
now captive.

Open my heart’s dungeon
to
love.
That deep love
of lovers
tangled in
desire.

The love I buried
and
lost.
A forgotten map
to
my true soul.
The one that needs
a long
embrace-filled night.

Cast free of
responsibility.
Reckless
and unending.

Yielding to
your touch.
Forever yours.

Love Poem: Remembered Kiss V

Love Poem

Love Poem: Remembered Kiss V
By Tessa Saks

How can I work
and carry
the burden
of everyday life,
when you are
pulling
my discorded heart
deeper
into
this endless despair.

I am lost
without
you.

Unable to tether
my constant
longings
for your touch.
Another embrace
to chill
this fire
burning deep
within
my
charred soul.

You endanger
the
fabric
of the
whole
of my life.

Tearing it apart.
Ripping through
all that
I have
built.

My safe haven.
Rocked
by your words.
Never to return
to the security
of
my well-formed life.

The patterns implode.
In quiet darkness
your kiss
reveals
flaws.
The fault line
of my heart.

The discovered
inclusion
that
is you.